Funny SMS

Seen on a bulletin board:

Sign on a railway station at Patna:

Aana free, jaana free,

pakde gaye to khana free.

A Note Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay:

Don’t whistle at the girl going out from here.

She may be your grandmother!

Success is relative

More the success, more the relatives.

A traffic slogan:
Don’t let your kids drive if they are not old enough - or else they never will be…..

THE BEST ONE:

Its God’s responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations

It’s our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god.”

- Indian Armed Forces

If Today Anyone
Talks & Praises
You For Your
1) Gud looks
2 ) Nature
3 ) Style
4 ) Attitude,

Kick Them Off.
How Dare They
FOOL U
Before
April 1st.

Ravan had 20 eyes but he sighted only one woman ….you have only 2 eyes but you sight every woman. Now who is Ravan?

Scientists are trying to figure out how long a person can live without brain. Please tell them your age!

A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?
He’s now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles !

So many options for suicide:
Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,
jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow & sure!

All desirable things in life are either
illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.
Which makes it a logical statement that
90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!
Piyo Sar Utha Ke!

What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah?
Wow! New Underwear.

Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without… but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.

Guess

The Minimum Area

With Maximum Number

0f Colour Paints. . . ? ? ?

….

GIRLS FACE . . . ;-)

Two Reasons To Give

Exam ...

1. You Can Spend 3 Hours

In Self Meditation. . .

2. You Can See Your Teachers

Being Bored ... Who Usually

Bore You ...

A BOY on DATE in BMW car,

BOY:I hided sumthng 4m u.

GF: wt? Boy: Im already married & hve a child.

GF: U

scared me! I thought the BMW itz not urz.

A man received d phone

from emergency room of hospital

Doctor: Your wife was in a fatal car

accident & I've bad n good news.

The bad news is,

She has lost both arms n legs n

will b on a respirator d rest of her life.

Man: 0h my God, whats the good

news?

Doctor: I'm kidding, She is Dead.

Dear Teacher,

If I dont put my hand up

It means

I dont want 2 answer

D question,

So dont bother picking me.

Sincerely,

Ur

Student

A Fact 0f Life

FEMALES CRITERIA FOR

'LIFE PARTNER'..

They Expect Their MEN To

Look Like "Mr. UNIVERSE"

And

Work Like 'RAMU KAKA;-)'

A kid shouted in Bank:

"Has any1 lost a bundle of currency notes tied with red rubberband?

Many hands were raised.

Kid: Here is tht rubberband:p!!

A Boy Thought Of Suicide

He Drank Poison Bt His Father Saved Him.

He Hanged, But His Mother Saved Him.

He Met With An Accident , Doctor Saved Him.

He Jumped Into A Well, Gardener Saved Him.

At Last,

He Got Married,

&

Now No 1 ,

Could Save Him;-).

I Told My Dad,

That I Want An Apple Or Blackberry!

He Replied

Aam Ka Season Hai Beta..

Aam Khao...

Dhoni is 29 yrs n Sakshi is 21 yrs

bt still Dhoni says v were school frnds

saala.. bada chalu hai,

10th me 2nd standard ki ladki pe line marta tha:-).

1 kanjus ki shadi me bar bar pani diya jaa raha tha.!

Santa bhukh se behal hokar chilaya,

Biryani milegi kya.?

Pani gale me atak gaya hai...

Demotion of Salman Khan

2009-Wanted : IPS

2010 - Dabbang : Inspector

2011 - Body Guard

Upcoming Films

2012 -Security Guard

2013-Watchman

2014- Postman.

ClAsSiC

Boy To Girl :

You Look Like A Barbie !

...Girl :

Thanks!

So You Mean

I m Tall And Beautiful ?

Boy:

No, Plastic And Without Brain!

Gud Looks Catch d Eyes,

bt Gud Charactr Catches d Heart u r Blessed with both..

Don't say Thanks:

It was sent to me, jst wantd to inform u.

Zindagi Me Sada Muskurate RAho.

Fasle Kam Karo,

Dil Milate RAho.

Dard Kesa B Ho,

Koi Gum Na Karo.

IODEX Karido,

Aur Lagate RAho.......

Hav u ever thot

while sleeping, wt if d fan breaks n falls on u,

orD legs of ur bed break,

orThr's a lizard undr ur pillow,

orA cockroach goes into ur mouth,

orA ghost catches ur hand while closing d window,

orA devil is watchng u frm mirror,

orSum1 is staring at u frm behind,

Or A old women wearing white gown wid white hairs siting in a corner of ur room n crying.

Anyhw slp carefuly.

Beat this:-)

How will a foreigner say open d door 2 his servant who only understands Hindi?

(Read dis fast in British accent)

"dere was a cold day"

Wife to Pati- See breaking news.

80 years old man ne shaadi kar li.

Pati- Sari umar samajhdari se bitayi, akhri umar me bewakufi kar hi di.

QUOTE On a Boy's

T-SHIRT..

"All Girls r Devils,

Bt My GirlFrnd Is Queen. Of THEM'

Why do we sometimes write "etc"at the end in examz.

Bcoz it means

e-end of..

t-thinking..

c-capacity..

poor teachers,cant understand our feelings.;)

After death.!!

GOD told every1 to write der MISTAKES in a paper.

Den I heard Ur voice from last bench

Shouting "ADDITIONAL SHEET PLZ"

1din Mirinda aur 7up ladne lage,

Jab pepsi ne poocha aap log kyu ladh rahe ho,

Toh Dono ne pepsi se kaha,

Sale kale tu apna kaam kar.

True Love is lyk a pillow.

U could HUG it whn Ur in trouble.

U could CRY on it whn Ur in pain.

U could EMBRACE it whn Ur happy.

WAnt True Love?

Spnd Rs.50 buy a Pillow.

In bio practical:

Examiner:Tell me d name of

this bird by seeing its legs only?

Sardar:I dont knw.

Examiner- u failed, wts ur name?

Sardar- see my legs & tell my name

What a man want?

Ek ladki jo Pyaar dey.

Ek ladiki jo Accha khana banaye.

Ek ladki jo usse Dil se chahe.

Aur?? Teeno ladkiyan 1 dusre se na mile

Killing English

Class teacher once said :

1. "pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

2. once p.T master said "both of u stand together seperately"

3. "will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"

4. Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father

5. "why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?...

In College Days... She Came Into My life...

I kept looking at her..

She Smiled...

Yet I kept Quiet...

She Began 2 Speak...

I Didnt listen...

And when she Began 2 leave...

I Started running Behind her Shouting...

Madam...madam... Attendance;-).

How "Bedroom" smells after "Marriages"

1st-3 Months

Perfumes & Flowers.

After 3 Years

Baby Powder,Cream & Lotion

Aftr 10-13 Years Vicks, Moov, Zandu balm.

Girl- wher's my bday gift?

Boy-u c dat beautiful red car on d other side of d road?

Girl(excitingly)-yes!

Boy-IM goin 2 buy u a nailpolish of dat sme colour.

Arz kiya hai.

"Mat nikalo mera janaza uski gali se yaaro. ."

Warna

warna.

uski maa kahegi.

"Kamina marte marte bhi ek round laga k gaya"

A touchin msg:-).

I deletd 1 of my frnd's no.

Frm my phonbuk

Bcoz of certain misundrstndings b/w us..

2day i recivd a frnship msg

frm an unknwn no.

I replied 'WHO r u'?

d rply made me cry..

"Idiot dont u even know the spelling of 'HOW'..? I m fine dude.." :)

'REALFRNDS R REALLY REAL'

Life Puri Pinde Me Mil Jari,

Kuch B Samaj Me Niara,

Subha utru inbox Dekhru,

Raat Me Soru inbox Dekhru,

Baigan ki Meri Sab k Msg Are Magar Tumare msg niare.

Whats d difference between ppl who pray in Temples and ppl who pray in Exam Centres?

Those in d exam centres r damn serious.

A Boy is sitting in a Park behind a tree wid his GF.

Old man: Beta, kya ye hamari Sanskriti hai?

Boy: Nahi, ye bajuwale ghar ki Pallavi hai.

Grammar class going on...

Teacher:

'Peter does not like girls.'

What is Peter in this sentence..??

Student: Gay..!

2 MEN TALKING

1st

I am getting married bcz

I am tired of eating out

cleaning house & doing laundry

2nd

Strange

I am taking divorce for same reasons

Girl's Status msg on facebook :"feelin sad"

951 comments

Guy's Status msg: "Going to Suicide"

2 likes 1 comment

"Dude Who's gonna use ur bike now"?

Gal 2 Her Brthr :Wt RU Gng 2 Gift Grndmthr On Hr Brthdy?

Boy: A Football

Gal :Bt She Dsnt Play Football?

Boy: I Knw,

Bt She Also Gifted Me Book.

Loving someone who doesnt love u is like batting wn u need 37 runs 2 win frm 6balls.

Bt

u still hve a small hope tht

Ashish Nehra will ball d last over.

Dhoka mila jab bhi Pyar mai,

Zindagi main Udasi Chha gayi,

Wah wah

Socha tha chor Denge is raah ko,

Kambakht Phir ek naye number se MISSCALL aa gayi.

Likho tHo EXAM me kuch aisa likho ki,

PEN bhi rone par majboor ho jaye.

Har ansWr mein wo dard bardo

ki ,check karne wala DISPRINE khake so jaye:-P.

If U R Sitting Among A

Group Of People &Their Heads R Down

& Urs Is Up,

Thts Not D Proof

Tht

U R Confident

It jst means u dont hve a

mobile;-)

Ek ladka result dekh ke. .

Kya me english me fail ho gya. . .

Unpossible......:-(

Teacher: Whoever answers nxt qstn correctly thy can go home.

Suddnly a boy throws out his school bag.

Tchr: who threw d bag?

Boy:ME!

Im going!;-)

Sir: What Do U Know About Chemistry?

Student: Hydrogen, Sodium, Helium, Chlorin, Florin, Shirin, Naushin, Farhin, Amrin, Samrin, Afrin, Yasmin, Nasrin...;-)

SILENT Insult

Wife: Why Are You Back Home So Early?

Husband: At Office Boss Told Me,

I dropped a coin in wishing well and prayed for a smart friend.

God gifted me you and said " itne paise me itna hi milega"

A man got 2 wishes from GOD.

He asked for the Best wine & Best Woman.

Nxt moment,

he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.

Moral : BE SPECIFIC

Tijjori pAr Likha tha "Todne ki Zaroorat Nahi, Button Dabaao Khul Jayegi "

Button Dabate hi Police Aa gayi

Chor- Aaj Mera Insaaniyat se Vishwaas uuth gaya hai !

Someday U'll forget abt me..My name..My voice..Who i am..&what i am 2 u.& if that happens..

Tholu teesta.

Em teesta?

Tholu teesta.

Thr z is a clock in heaven.

Evrytym u lie, it moves.

Mother teresa's clock never moved.

Gandiji's clock moved 1nce.

Bt god is using urs as a

table fan..

Bhyanak joke of 2011.

phone rings tring tring..

1st: hello prakash hai..?

2nd: nhi he..

1st: nhi hai tho mombatti jala lo ho jaega.;-)

A 95 year old man died on his birthday.

Do u knw Why ?

It was a Tragedy. .

His grandchildren gave him birthday bumps.

Crazy generation.!!!

Gr8 man said

"There wil b plenty of time 2 sleep wen U R dead"

LyF is 4 livng.So wak up & perform.

..

So jao re,

Bade log kuch b bolte hai!